How Much Longer Lord?
I was praying I was closer to my happy ending. It appears things could actually be getting worse. My torment just keeps lingering. Today has been pure Hell and I’ve only hurt more with each passing minute. The human side of me is tempted to ask “what have I done to deserve this misery?” I’m pretty certain Job asked God that many times.
I’m writing this once again to keep myself sane. It’s not been just another day. It’s been an absolutely miserable day. My pain is consuming every part of my body. It’s attacking me from the inside out with cringing nerve sensations all over. I would do or pay nearly anything for relief. For to continue living this way would not be living at all.
God I need You once again to intervene. I can’t go but so long in this state mind and body. I’m doing everything I know to do. I’m desperate for Your healing touch and calming presence. This misery is so beyond what I can endure in my strength. Rescue me from my torment and help me to rest tonight.
“How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,” lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken. But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.”
(Psalm 13:1-6)