Celebrating Freedom, Still In Pain

Soldier At GravesideIt’s been another uneventful day. I spent the first twelve hours in bed with only half of that time sleeping. I’ve spent the last six hours in the tub. I’ve already taken one Valium and I’m praying that I don’t have to take anymore. My body has been radiating with nerve pain all day long. I’ve been living on edge every minute. Any sound, conversation, or wrong movement can overload my nervous system in a split second.

Many think I’m just being stubborn with the fact that I take zero narcotics. Yes,  I choose to not just keep myself doped up around the clock. Is it tough to endure at times? Absolutely! Have I seen firsthand what addiction to pain pills has done to countless others? Absolutely! I’m not interested in replacing one great issue with another. With that said, I do take what is necessary to remain sane and fuels potential rest and healing.

I could easily see myself getting a morphine pain pump in the future. However, I’m not relying on pain medications alone to take care of my problem. Everything I do and don’t do is done with constant consideration of my health. I’m not with family today simply because it was best that I stayed home. From sun up to sun down I do whatever I can to allow my body the opportunity to heal. However, I’m living on the edge all the time. I’m always just one step away from going crazy due this non-stop nerve pain.

Today, as we celebrate Memorial Day I’m thankful. I’m thankful for all those who have given up their lives for the life I live today. I’m thankful that I’m still able to be around with my family. Many soldiers don’t have that opportunity because they died fighting for my freedom. It blows my mind that over 1.2 million soldiers have died during U.S. Wars. God thank you for their sacrifice and thank you for another day!

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”                      (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

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