I write these kind of things to myself periodically. I strongly encourage you to do the same. May seem a little strange, but I believe you have to stay honest with yourself as often as possible. Just imagine you’re talking with someone else except that someone is you. If you can be truly honest this exercise will always prove to be beneficial.
I just thought it was time I check in with you. I know exactly what you’re feeling and thinking. So, I thought I would shed light on some things you need addressed, confirmed, and rearranged.
One, I know you’re very stressed over many things. There is hardly nothing in your life right now that isn’t creating lots of concern. Well, just like you would tell anyone else. All you can do is what you can do. Worry changes nothing, but prayer changes everything. Anytime things come to mind pray about them.
Two, I know that how you feel physically literally affects every aspect of your life. Sorry, there is no accelerated path through this painful storm. Don’t give up on your miracle, but trust God’s perfect timing for that miracle.
Thirdly, yes God is definitely using your pain. Beyond what you hear and see. It’s clearly a platform God is using and will use the rest of your life. Keep sharing the God honest truth of your daily struggles. If it helps even one person’s its worth it.
Fourthly, forget about wanting to be the perfect pastor because it’s not even possible. It’s most important that you put your health before your help. Those who genuinely love you in the good times will still love you through the bad times. Remember your family should always be your first ministry. Always care more about what your creator thinks than your critics.
Last but certainly not least, remember to keep walking with God. Marinate your heart and mind with daily scripture. Pray over all matters and God will give you peace. Remember, it’s all about walking with God so that God can work through you. Keep your little hand in His big hand and let Him lead the way.