I Need You To Pick Me Up
I would love to tell you that I’m strong and I’ve got it all together. However, that would be one of the biggest lies on the planet. I’ve never felt weaker than I do right now. I’m exhausted, bruised, and very broken. Just to be in my own skin is more than overwhelming. I need God to pick me up and hold me in His arms.
I really hoped by now this storm would have passed me by. But, when I woke to take my morning medication it was still staring me in the face. Both hands were burning red with some kind of nerve reaction rash that’s been going on for a couple months. My body felt like I could barely even roll out the bed to go to the bathroom. As I got up I reached for my cane because my legs are so weak I could easily take a fall.
I feel like I’m talking about some nursing home patient that I just visited. How could this be my body and my brokenness? I’m way too young to feel like I’m needing end of life care. To say it has taken hold of my life would be an understatement. Right now it has totally wrecked my life and makes everyday feel like a nightmare. I’m pressing, praying, crying inside and just hoping for my breakthrough. Honestly, I’m praying that I can pass this test of faith as I feel like I’m falling apart.
Lord, you know my heart. You know my weakness is greater than ever. Or maybe it’s just that my real weakness has been revealed. All I know is I’m desperate for your healing touch and comforting presence. I need you to reach into my situation and restore my joy. I need you to keep holding me together so I don’t fall totally apart. I need you to breath into me hope I can’t offer myself. I give you every pain, fear, and overwhelming emotion. Help me finish my race, keep the faith, and bring you much glory through this journey.
“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” (James 4:10)