Better Than It Was
After a very long week we’re headed back home from family vacation. While it was a very rough week there were some smiles and laughs shared. I didn’t get to do much physically with them, but I’m still thankful I could even be around. It’s amazing how much just a few years can make such a difference. My wife did with the the boys all the activities I used to be able to do with them.
As I mentioned before there were a lot of rough points due to my health. Because of no functioning tub in our room or pool nearby I had no way of easing the intensity of my nerve pain. I took more Valium this week than I’ve ever taken before. I’ve also had daily neurological breakdowns that I just couldn’t prevent.
The great news is I was able to have a really good heart to heart conversation with the boys. I know they can see my struggles are many . But, I needed them to know that daddy is fighting with all I’ve got. That many struggle with invisible illnesses others just can’t see or understand. I could tell each of them heard my heart and received my apology for all that went wrong due to my uncontrollable health battle.
It’s lifted such a burden off my chest just to be real and to feel they have some greater understanding. As my wife drives us home I’m at peace and they seem to be as well. I’ve had to take another Valium, but soon I will be back where I can get relief. I will likely spend the rest of the evening in the tub. There is a reason we keep our best television in the bathroom as I spend on average nearly a fourth of each day in the tub.
“This is the day the Lord has made;
We will rejoice and be glad in it.”