My Heartache, God’s Mission

E537320A-6B3A-4583-92F5-764DDCD4DCD5Seems like by the day I discover something new that I’m dealing with on a daily basis. Earlier I went to the doctor to figure out what exactly I could do to treat this most likely viral crud that’s been making me feel awful by the day. I left away with some antibiotic and something to break down the congestion in my head. I also got my doctor to look at the pictures I’ve taken of my daily skin breakouts. I feel I’ve finally got some clarity on that matter. In fact, my skin is broken out and itching all over as I write this article.

Doctor says he is almost certain that I’ve got neurodermatitis. Researchers have discovered that a trigger can increase the risk of developing neurodermatitis. Things that can trigger neurodermatitis include: Injury to a nerve. Period of intense stress or emotional trauma. Tight clothing, especially clothing made of wool or a synthetic fabric like rayon or polyester. Dry skin, allergens, sweat, heat, and poor blood flow can also be a trigger. The fact that I’ve experienced all of these being triggers makes this pretty clear. Also the fact that it’s so short lived on my skin eliminates meds that I’ve always taken or just some specific allergy. It’s activated by my nerves and further stimulated by things such as heat, sweat, dry skin, and even water.

As I walked into CVS to pick up my medications my eyes were further opened. I can’t tell you how weak my legs have felt recently. I’m now having to use my cane all the time to get around. I had to sit down as I waited on my prescriptions. As I sat there in misery I realized I was now that guy. That guy that is disabled, handicap, and struggles every moment from point A to point B. It’s so humbling, challenging, and frightening as you wonder what the future might hold.

You feel like people are looking straight through you and that only other fellow sufferers really understand. I try my best to explain things to my wife who observes me daily and even she can’t seem to realize the level of my constant pain. All I keep thinking about is how I can’t wait to start my chronic illness support group in September. I need the encouragement from my new tribe and they need mine. Because everyday it seems your body fails you and no one seems to understand you. Maybe this is the only way God could prepare me to be a missionary to others who are suffering daily as well. 

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

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