I’m Giving Up On Myself
I’ve only completed 4 days of my recently started 7 day challenge to not focus on my pain. God knows I’m trying so hard to pass this test. But, when your legs hurt so bad and your body feels like it’s been hit by a truck it’s so tough. Just went a mile up town to pick up a few things from Dollar General. Of course, I had to take my 14 year old so he could load and unload everything for his Grandpa healthy dad. Honestly, at my age I hate feeling like somebody that should already be getting a room at a local nursing home.
I just don’t like the way things are trending. I don’t see the progress or the potential of progress I’m desperately wanting. As a man it just makes you feel helpless. I should at least be able to pick up a full gallon of milk for my wife and not have to worry about it’s consequences. However, I’m afraid my doctor’s restrictions of me not lifting anything over ten pounds isn’t so far fetched after all.
My physical mind just can’t comprehend how things can be changed by man. In fact, I know that man has maxed out their potential. So, I have no other choice than to fully rely on God for my miracle. Often we really have to fully reach the end of what we can do before we totally understand our absolute dependence on what only God can do. It’s safe to say I’m at that point where I’ve given up on my own ability. I know I can’t, but I’m still believing that God can change my condition. God keep feeding my faith to believe you for the otherwise impossible! I know that I can’t, but I fully believe that you can do anything.
“But Jesus said, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.” (Luke 18:27)