I Didn’t See This Coming

59ED5416-7973-4C64-BE4C-908F9B7B9F78I woke up with my body aching all over even more than usual. I slept so hard due to medication I took late last night that I woke up three hours past my 6:30 medicine alarm. Sadly, none of these medications even help my Neurodermatitis that’s driven by my severe nerve pain. Now, I’ve got an itching rash that pops up all over my body. My hands and feet just feel raw and swollen. This is not the direction I expected things to keep trending.

I admit that if my faith was not fixed on Christ I’m not sure where I would be at this point. If I didn’t realize that pain is a part of this broken life I would probably feel singled out and tormented by God. If I didn’t know this pain will end one day I’m not sure I could look forward to the future with hope. If I didn’t firmly believe God is using my pain for His glory I would struggle greatly to see it’s purpose. 

Regardless, I hate how I feel most of the time throughout everyday. I don’t wish this on any other person. I hate continuously hurting and never knowing how much worse things are going to get. It’s very painful, disappointing and frightening all at the same time. For sure, apart from my faith and family I would be in a very dark place. Yet, while I saw none of this coming at my young age I have to trust in God’s perfect plans. Only He can see the bigger picture and how my brokenness plays into His greater will. So, until I draw my last breath in this life my soul is resting in His higher ways!

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.”For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9)

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