Come Closer Son
For reasons I don’t understand God won’t allow me to go to bed without seeking to be fully honest. I’m certain there is a bit of pride involved on my part of things. You see, I would love for each of you to believe that I’ve got it all together. I would love to paint for you some perfect life. To go ahead and write my own happy ending to a very long struggling story.
The truth is the flames just seem to be increasing by the minute. Red lines, patches, circles, stripes and every other variation of breakout imaginable is popping up all over my body. I can’t stop it all I can keep trying to do is contain it. My hands feel very swollen and my entire body is tingling. This extra layer of torment is really pushing me over the edge. I hate to keep saying it, but my favorite time by far is when I’m sleeping.
One thing for sure God has pointed out to me is how I must draw closer to Him. I can just let the flames consume me. I can’t stay focused more on the pain that I do praying through the pain. I’m trying as hard as I can to get where I’m talking about. I bought a new journal earlier in hopes that I will get back to daily conversation with God. Not just a few desperate prayers, but consistent appointments with the only One that can get me through these trying times. It’s how Jesus made it through each day and it’s the only way I’m going to make it through this dark valley of uncertainty.
“Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” (Luke 5:16)