It’s about 11pm on a Monday night. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt more emotionally and physically combined running through my veins. Tomorrow I will endure a very long appointment that to say I’m dreading is an understatement. It’s an appointment that is not fair or necessary. But, we all know life is full of these kind of moments. This one is just catching me at a time that I’m very vulnerable and need every ounce of God’s help to operate with self control.
I will be confronting face to face some things that have been heavy on my heart for awhile. Issues that need to be addressed and truth that needs to be spoken. I’m someone that has compassion and love for anyone that I ever encounter. However, I don’t mine getting right up in the devil’s face when duty calls. I don’t know how things are going to go. I don’t know exactly what I’m going to say. I can assure you there will be some very uncomfortable moments for everyone involved.
Tonight, there is no way of knowing whether I will get even one minute of sleep. Especially since I napped a few hours earlier due to sleeping very little last night. I’m in an absolute dog fight and I know it. A battle between good and evil. A battle that is testing every ounce of strength, endurance, and faith within me. A battle that I know I can’t win without God’s help.
My prayers are constant and all I’m hearing God say is just keep holding on and trust me. I truly believe I’m living in one of the most defining seasons of my life. I don’t want to let anyone down, but especially my commander and chief Jesus Christ. So, just pray in agreement with me that God’s will be done and that I be found faithful no matter what life continues to throw my way. I know God is at work more than ever before on me, in me, and despite me. It’s just not a lot of fun at the moment and has me out of breath.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4)