Trying To Stay Sane
I’m doing this for my own sanity. I don’t know anything else I can for now. I’ve taken all the meds I can that I’m praying will kick in very soon. I’m absolutely living on planet miserable. I wish I had an iv full of morphine right now.
I know I will get through this season. But, I keep wondering if that includes this very minute. Fortunately, I’ve been in this place many times before. Otherwise I would be crawling to some ER begging for help. I recall clearly the first time I ever rushed to the doctor over this matter. When they asked “why are you here to see the doctor?” My answer was simple “Tell them I’m going crazy!”
I’ve battled this over 1150 days. Yet, I still feel like a child that just needs his mommy. Speaking of moms thank God mine had prayed for me continuously. I’m certain it’s only been those prayers that have kept me sane. I know I’m rambling, but I’m just trying to distract myself from this blinding pain. Better yet if you’re reading this just pray God will once again lift me out of this pit of seeming despair.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)