This Thorn In My Flesh

It’s with me when I wake up, get up, and go to bed. My nerve pain is always interfering my life. This is not anything I ever expected or would have planned. Explaining the weight of this struggle is impossible to put into words. The possibility that I might spend the rest of my life this way or even worse is mind blowing. 

Yes, I’ve had 38 months for this reality to settle into my mind. However, my heart is just beginning to process this pain. To embrace that this thorn may be God’s will for my life. To accept the fact that God does His greatest work through pain. If we allow it God works in us, through us, and despite us. But, it can be so difficult to see when you are blinded by the present struggle.

Now, I never wake up asking God to remove my struggle. Why? Because too much has confirmed this is purposeful pain. I still don’t like it. In fact, I absolutely hate it. However, I see God at work and I trust God to work even in the pain. It’s definitely led to me realizing my desperate need for divine intervention. I’m more humble, prayerful, thankful, and intentional. I’ve had to realize that even when it hurts God is still God.

“So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)

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