Still In The Wilderness
My pain is bearable at this moment. My life is blessed around me. Even still I feel like I’ve been in a forever wilderness. Like I’m still walking through a thick foggy cloud. My meds still suppress my thinking. My stimulator often leaves me tingling and never feeling exacting right.
I guess I’m still getting used to my new normal. I feel chemically imbalanced so often. Prior to this 39 month long battle that was never the case. Bottom line, is I’m still fighting to feel like myself. There seems to be a wall in front of me that I just can’t get over myself.
My heart tells me that I’m not alone in this wilderness. Many of you feel like life for you will never be quite the same. Whether it be because of a some life valley, health battle or something you can’t even explain. All you know is your heart is heavy and your view is cloudy. You feel like you’re having to walk by faith more than ever before. You know, I think that is right where we all need to be. Seeking God, obeying God, and trusting God. It can feel scary, but with God’s help we can scale any wall.
“You light a lamp for me. The Lord, my God, lights up my darkness. In your strength I can crush an army; with my God I can scale any wall.” (Psalm 18:28-29)