It’s Like This, Now What?

Laying on my side after midnight with the heating pad on high. I’m now way more comfortable than before. Earlier, I just had another miserable reality check. I got out for a few hours with my precious wife. The entire trip was not good for her or me.

I chose to drive the first 30 minutes it took us to reach our destination. Before we even got out the car I knew things weren’t going to be good. My lower back was aching like crazy. Soon, I would experience nonstop shooting pain down both my legs. Trying to sit comfortably to even eat supper was an impossible task. I couldn’t ignore the pain or deny my great disappointment.

I really thought my pain was more predictable. I even thought my stimulator had things under control. I went from alright to absolutely nauseating pain in one hour’s time. Needless to say we weren’t out long. My wife drove us back home as my nighttime meds put me quickly to sleep on the way. 

I’ve just got to quit comparing my old normal to today’s normal. I keep setting my wife and I both up for greater disappointment. We both acknowledged tonight that we’ve quit shedding tears over this matter. Now, we just expect it to wreck our lives. But, we’re trying to figure out how to smile through it. I’m thinking learning how to do that will be our next phase of faith walking forward. 

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. (Romans 5:3-5)

1 Comments on “It’s Like This, Now What?”

  1. Novena to St. Walburga
    O God, come to my assistance.
    O Lord, make haste to help me.
    Glory be to the Father…
    Psalm 23 or other psalm of trust (62, 91) may be recited
    Holy Walburga, you dwell in the glory of heaven, gazing upon the face of the Triune God in the company of all the saints. I turn to you, full of trust in the words of Jesus Christ, “Amen, amen I say to you, the one who has faith in me will do the works I do, and greater far than these” (Jn 14:12). God has granted you the gift of healing; help me in my need, which I bring before you (mention petition). Beg God to grant healing, consolation and strength to me and to all those for whom I pray. Implore Him to let me recognize His love and know His presence, whatever He may have in store for me. Ask this for me through Jesus Christ, our Lord, who lives and reigns in the unity of the Father and the Holy Spirit, one God for ever and ever. Amen
    St. Walburga, by your blessed life of love, God blessed you with the power to heal, to make whole the soul as well as the body. Beg for us what we cannot obtain for ourselves, and heal our world of sickness and sorrow. May God hear you, who lived so graciously for His glory, and send us the healing grace we need, through your powerful intercession. Amen
    At the close of the Novena:
    Lord give me light, that I may see your way.
    Lord, give me strength, that I may follow your way.
    Lord, give me love, that I may do your will.


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