I Can Now Relate To Craziness

For the past 41 months I’ve been dealing with a severe nerve condition. I used to constantly pray that I could just bare the pain. I would beg God nightly for any rest possible. Finally those prayers were answered for the most part. Yet, the leftovers of my nerve damaged condition have been beyond troublesome.

Never do I know when my body is going to be vibrating within from my feet to face. In just a matter of seconds I can be extremely nauseous. Without warning all my ability to focus or even function is stolen away. Honestly, it’s like having an outer body experience. You see what’s happening but you can’t do anything to stop it.

This stuff is happening during Sunday sermons, important meetings, everyday life and anytime it chooses. It makes even the smallest task feel like the biggest ordeal. Tears can start pouring without warning. I feel like I have this crazy tick that makes me look like a fool. It’s so discouraging, distracting, and painful. I can’t control it no matter how hard I try. I’ve simply got to trust God to take me through it.

There’s gotta be a reason for this intense battle. I certainly know what it’s like to be fully exposed. To have things physically and emotionally that make you look like an absolute wreck. My compassion and grace towards others has reached a much higher level. And I’m more desperate than ever for others’ grace and compassion towards me.

“He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” (2 Corinthians 1:4)

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