Lord Help Me
Once again I’m laying on my side typing these words with one hand. Things appear to be moving from bad to worse. Shooting nerve pain is rushing from my feet into my face. Deep embedded itching won’t stop in my hands and feet. The pain and anxiety are rising by the minute. Turning down my stimulator yesterday due to over stimulation now appears to be a poor decision. Symptom management is all I can do right now.
If I’m honest there is just so much underneath the chaos. I’ve reached the max I can handle especially due to my health restrictions. My poor wife has reached her max as I can easily observe her extreme fatigue. We’re in the middle of major house renovations, high ministry demand, and keeping balance in a growing family of six. Yet, we all know life slows down for no one. Whether sick or well there always seems to be demands. Things you feel must get done and feel led to do.
However, you reach a point that you can’t ignore the blaring warning lights on the dashboard. If you don’t pull over soon for repair you will just be broken down. Therefore, I can’t ignore what’s going on within me or around me. I must prayerfully and proactively take care of myself. Keep putting myself in the healthiest position possible for healing. It’s so hard to even think your best when you don’t feel your best.
Fortunately, the past has prepared me some for these uncertain days. I know how to spot things quicker. I know when to reach for help sooner. I know how to cope with greater precision, honesty, and courage. Do I ever feel comfortable during these seasons of torcher? Absolutely not! Life is full of unexpected suffering that we all must learn to prayerfully process. No doubt I’m still a major work in progress.
“Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world. 1 Peter 4:12-13