Doing Everything I Can

I’m back in this all too familiar place. Everything near my lower back is aching relentlessly. My entire body feels like ants are all over me. The itching is so intense and just won’t stop. Sadly I’m now having to stay out of the tub that always soothes me the most. But, the water dries out my skin and flares up my dermatitis to even higher levels.

Today, was another tough day full of many aches, pains, and tears. The tears were actually a welcomed sight. I was long overdue for a good cry and it did settle me at the time. Now, I’m just waiting to see when this storm will pass. My health really limits every part of my life. I feel like everything is at a standstill and I’m in a miserable prison.

I did get out the house earlier to see my mom and take my youngest son out to eat. I’m glad I got out because these walls were closing in on me. Having our usual daddy day lifted my spirit and took my mind off the pain as much as possible. Too much time to think when you’re in pain is never a good thing. I just thank God for taking me through another day and calming my heart.

Early today I took only my second Valium over the past six months. That by itself shows how much God has carried me and kept me from going crazy. I will be going back to my dermatologist very soon. I’m just hoping they can give me something stronger to settle this nerve related itching.

“Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.” Jeremiah 17:14

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