God I Need Relief

I feel like nobody understands me. My body stills feels like it’s on fire inside. Add on top of that aching flu like symptoms. Add to that every fiber of my lower back, tailbone, hips and legs throbbing with pain. Having to shut this unit off so long has taken a huge toll on my body. Trying to turn it back on earlier for a few hours is still costing me.

You’re talking about something that works in tandem with my entire nervous system. Somehow it’s been regulating things to make me feel normal many days in the past. Suddenly it’s now causing me additional pain. Not to mention it’s allowing all my old pain to come flooding back. It’s like I’ve been in a new accident I can’t recall.

Right now I feel so chemically imbalanced. I can’t handle even a basic conversation. I can’t just walk around without much severe pain. I can hardly take a breath that doesn’t feel like a chore. While my wife has observed similar behavior many times I know she can’t even fathom what’s actually going on inside of me.

The truth is I can’t even make sense of it all. I just feel it and know it’s not in my imagination. The nerve wreckage within me right now just feels like a tidal wave. All I can do once again is wait on relief. I wish to God I had more answers than I do. My blood pressure feels sky high so I will actually check that right now.

“Have compassion on me, LORD, for I am weak. Heal me, LORD, for my bones are in agony.” Psalm 6:2

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