I’m Not Who I Was
When I hear those words they resonate as good and bad. Clearly, I’m not who I used to be physically speaking. I can’t handle but a small portion of what I used to be able to do. However, daily God is radically changing my heart and perspective for the better. If I’ve learned anything it’s that life is certainly not all about me.
For the past 1360 days God has been stripping down the man I used to be. Letting me know that life can go on without me. He just chooses to use me any way He pleases. Letting me know that being a pastor is not about me doing all the work. Instead, it’s about raising up an army of believers that are serious about God’s work. God has shown me that deep pain is a purposeful gift. One that’s not easy to swallow, but clearly a platform for God’s glory to be revealed.
Now, I believe I’m past the deepest grieving season of swallowing my new normal. For sure this spiritual and physical makeover has been tough. Yet, there is no denying God has my full attention more than ever before. I know more how to depend on God instead of just referencing Him. I truly know apart from Jesus I’m nothing and can do nothing.
Jesus said, “I am the vine, you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit. Apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)