I Cried My Eyes Out
It’s been nearly two weeks that I couldn’t withstand coughing, sneezing or laughing too hard. Anytime I even take a deep breath this coccyx pain takes my breath away. It’s like I’m being stabbed repeatedly. I had reached the point where this pain just wouldn’t stop and was taking me down daily.
Earlier I went to get my weekly medical massage. I shared with my therapist how I felt defeated and beyond discouraged. How something needed to change for me to quit rolling backwards. How I’ve averaged only fours hours of sleep per night the past four days due to my relentless discomfort. I almost broke down when I tried taking a deep breath and the pain started blaring so deeply.
Then, with God guiding her giftedness I felt some relief. She said, “You’ve definitely been on lockdown. The inflammation has even gravitated up into your abdomen.” With some adjusting I could actually take a big deep breath and not feel screaming pain. Tears of relief and hope poured down my face. I realized I had been in a prison of pain for quite some time. I discovered there was actually something that could help me.
Starting next week I will be getting adjusted twice a week. I will also be starting back some physical therapy. There are habits I must change as I retrain my mind and body to work best. The pain was just forcing me into a corner of fear and defense. Therefore, all of my lower body has been suffering greatly. For the sixth week in a row I’ve had a total meltdown. However, God has used every tear to calm my heart and release the pain.
“Jesus Wept.” John 11:35