More Than I Can Handle

I have to write this just to get it off my chest. I’m sure somebody else can identify. Right now I feel like a complete prisoner in my own body. It’s wrecking my every thought. My heart keeps beating faster and faster. I can’t figure out anything I can do presently to change things.

Fortunately, I’m not in unbearable pain. However, every nerve within me is on edge. Every part of my body is on the verge of breakdown. All it takes is the smallest amount of pressure, stress, or conversation. Honestly, just sitting still my entire body continues to vibrate. My ability to do any more than 25 percent of what I used to do is just not there. Everything takes so much more effort and time.

My medications have stolen my ability to concentrate. Every minute continues to be full of cloudiness. I’m squinting to see and fighting to stay awake. This is going on morning, day, and night. Even coffee and my usual healthy energy drink has been no match for my fogginess.

Whether I like it or not this is where I am. I will probably go back to see my counselor very soon. Not that he has all the answers. Sometimes you just need a safe place to process your greatest struggles. Especially when you have a chronic condition that others around you get tired of hearing about. But, you get even more exhausted and discouraged having to deal with it.

If this is similar to your battle. Know that you’re not alone. God has proven He will take us through whatever comes our way. It may be way more than we can handle. It’s never more than God can handle. I pray we all continue to walk by faith and not by sight. Keep believing God my friends!

“Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But not with God. Everything is possible with God.” Mark 10:27

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