Something To Smile About
Oh what a joy it was to finally talk with my dad on the phone earlier. It’s been at least a week since he could even dialogue at all with me. His pain has just been blinding and disrupting his life so much. I just kept praying that we could hopefully see him smile again.
This morning they only gave him half of his normal weekly chemo infusion. They had to dial things back due to his weakened body. But, thanks to his pain actually being under control this evening dad sounded himself for once. Just hearing him talk for nearly 40 minutes had me smiling ear to ear. I told dad I looked forward to going to bed with a smile on my face instead of tears in my heart.
Dad just cried and cried before he got off the phone. Said he never meant for any of us to have to hurt over him. I assured him that it’s a blessing for him to still be with us and a blessing to be able to be there for him.
As tears fall, I must say that pastoring my dad was never something I envisioned. But if you can’t minister to your own family you shouldn’t be ministering to other families. This has been the most painful privilege of my life. Even when the heart aches I know my strength and faith are being renewed.
Funny how these seasons really force you to ponder what really matters in life. You just can’t escape the brevity of life or the frailty of mankind. We think we’re so strong, but we’re so weak apart from Christ. We think we’re in control until we lose all sense of control. We think we will live forever until something threatens our life.
I’m so thankful that God is using this season to strengthen my praying knees and open my spiritual eyes. Even in the broken moments God is making something beautiful. God keeps proving Himself faithful to dad, mom and each of us. I will trust God’s plans wherever that leads.
“Praise the Lord. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.” Psalm 106:1