Being Still In Brokenness

Most people who look at me can’t see my brokenness. They typically see a man who looks to be in pretty good shape for 48. I do everything I can to take care of myself and live a recovery lifestyle. Even still my entire body feels nerve wrecked daily.

It’s been 8 years since my way of life was drastically changed. I still recall the words of a well known doctor. He said, “son no matter what anyone ever tells you there is no fixing your permanent nerve damage. In fact, implanting this spinal cord stimulator is just another tool used to bring some hopeful comfort.” Honestly, it took me at least 4-5 years to embrace my brokenness.

Now, here I am 8 years later still physically broken. However, thanks to God’s peace I’m no longer depressed over this reality. No, I don’t ever like having to lay on my side for endless hours waiting on my body to feel better. Yet, these broken moments have become a common place for me. Here is my new found perspective when dealing with my brokenness.

One, God has great purpose for it all. He has proven this to me time and time again.

Two, God is always with me through it all. He has proven this to me time and time again.

Three, God is not punishing me, but is growing my faith through the pain. He has proven this to me time and time again.

Four, I realize everyone experiences some kind of brokenness. God wants to use my pain to give me compassion towards others in pain. He has proven this to me time and time again.

Finally, God is driving me to Him and not away. It’s in the greatest pain that God is trying to get our greatest attention. He has proven this to me time and time again.

God has never let me down one day throughout this journey. My health has failed me countless times. Even still God keeps picking me up and carrying me forward. I can’t wait to see what He will do next during this “be still” season.

You see, great brokenness is not something you just get over. Instead, you have to trust God to take you through it. Keep doing what you can to improve things. Keep praying for God’s strength and breakthrough power. Keep following God and trusting that He still has a plan. Choose to be still and let God be God even in your brokenness.

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14

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