I’ve Cried A River


One more night my body has physically and emotionally let me down. The flood gates of tears has once again been released. Sometimes it’s just pure grief, but it’s almost always a direct result of my nerve pain breaking down every part of me. I wish I could control my emotions. I wish I could cry once and get it all out. However, tears are usually not something we can directly control.

I did have a great visit with my counselor earlier today. We talked about God’s goodness throughout my journey of suffering. How obvious it’s been that God has never left my side or family. How much glory God keeps getting as my trials continue. Honestly, I celebrate daily what God is doing in me, through me and for me. Even with great heartache I’ve always found many reasons to smile.

Nights are usually the worse because I just can’t hold it in any longer. Everyday reveals one more limitation my health has created. Combine my new griefs with my exhausting journey and it creates a river of tears. While it does make me feel like a baby I know each tear brings a level of healing. In fact, I believe God created every tear to cleanse our heart and soul. To keep things from building up and holding us back. Fortunately, tears are temporary as there will be no more tears in Heaven.

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
Revelation 21:4



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