My Heart Is Crying


I’ve been loaded with medicine for hours that should have calmed the storm by now. I feel like I’ve been this way forever. My body feels like it’s been kicked relentlessly from head to toe. Saying the pain is miserable is an understatement. I’m laying on my side aching, reading scripture, praying, and listening to select music to calm my soul.

No, I’m not sitting around asking God ,”Why?” I am asking God, “What?” What does he want me to learn, see or do differently? What is he needing to remove from my life? What is He preparing me for in the future? I know He knows why and I know He knows what He has planned.

So, I’m not wrestling with His will. I am struggling with myself. I’m so tired of fighting and hurting. Everything within me longs for some relief. I actually think my heart is crying inside. It’s begging for instant calmness and a cure for this madness. However, you can’t have it all. God is heavily at work it’s just painful. It’s natural to desire that your life fall back into order. But, I’ve seen it for far too long not to know this truth. God does His greatest work in the midst of our greatest pain.

“Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.”
Psalm 30:5

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