It’s Like A Death Except

Depressed

It’s only been 30 straight months of dealing with uncontrollable nerve pain. I’ve gone through more medications in that time than many will see all their entire life. Everything has been a process of trial and error. I’ve tried surgery, a spinal cord stimulator, therapy, walking, pain shots, Rhizotomy, natural supplements, counseling, prescription medications, lots of prayer and I’m still in a dog fight. I’ve gone through all of those things only to be right back where I started.

Everyday I can either lay on my side with unbearable pain or I can keep myself loaded with medication. The latter helps me get through the day, but still leaves me missing so much. Especially when any really good meds leave me feeling under the influence. Either my head is spinning because of medication or I’m in absolute agony wishing I would have stayed on top of the pain.

It’s like a death except there is no closure. You long to have just one great day of health. You hope one day you are miraculously healed. It affects your relationship with your spouse, children and really anyone who really knew you before your world turned upside down. But, there is just one thing that keeps you going when you feel like you’ve been staying in a hospital bed forever. You have to keep believing that God has a purpose for everything He has orchestrated or allowed in your life. Jesus I believe in Your plans for me!

“And we know that God causes everything to work together[a] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”
Romans 8:28

One Comment on “It’s Like A Death Except

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