My Desperate Prayer

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Dear Heavenly Father,
I long ago reached the absolute most I could handle. I can’t even recall the last time I didn’t feel like I was hanging on by a very thin thread. For the longest time I tried to hide it as best you can when your body and mind are an absolute wreck. Those days of pretending are far behind me. I know I’m totally desperate for Your extreme intervention otherwise I will surely sink.

From my viewpoint I’ve been running in place for the longest time. Actually, I’ve not been doing much running at all. I’ve been laying in a bed of exhausting pain and discomfort. I long for the day my body doesn’t make me nauseous just from waking up each morning. My world as I once knew it was turned totally upside down 32 months ago.

The days are getting longer, but my faith is growing stronger. From one side all I see is endless pain and waiting for relief the rest of my life. From another side I see how You are using this cross daily for Your glory. I don’t consider it my right to tell you what to do or to question what You are doing. So here is my humble, yet desperate prayer.

Keep me close to Your heart and most in tune to Your will. May my faith be far greater than my greatest fear. Hold me together when I would otherwise fall completely apart. Use this struggle to make Your power known to many. Take care of my family and Your church when my limitations are so many. Replace all my anxieties with Your peace and the assurance of Your presence. Have Your way in me, through me, and despite me. I surrender everything to You and I choose to walk by faith no matter what the future holds.

“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor.”
(James 4:10)

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