It’s 11:30pm Saturday and it’s just another night on pain island. I made sure I took all my sleepy time and breakthrough pain medications over 2 1/2 hours ago. Still , the pain in my lower back has not been phased nor can it be ignored. When will it stop always comes to my mind.
I just finished putting ice on things just hoping to cool down the pain. I’m still aching constantly and my legs are throbbing. I’ve been keeping my stimulator at a very low setting so my legs won’t vibrate so much. Yet, when I turn it down lower to stop the vibration the pain in my lower back becomes unbearable. There doesn’t appear to be any middle ground to be found.
Th only common denominator with everything right now is pain. My normal meds just don’t work as well for me anymore. I hate to say it but I always looked so forward to feeling knocked out at night. Now that knockout time is very unpredictable and I’m forced to feel the reality of my pain even more.
“At night my bones are filled with pain, which gnaws at me relentlessly.”