I Can’t Stop This Feeling
It’s only been two days straight of waking up this miserable. I’m used to being a little uncomfortable, but feeling this way takes me to the furthest edge. I always have pain that is at least a 4 out of 10. However, there is a great difference between that and this which is a 7/8 out 10. Especially when the pain just lingers throughout my body.
You find yourself feeling depressed in quick fashion. All you feel you can do is lay on your side as I’m doing now. You feel like a fish out of water just desperate for the pain to go away. Your prayers are silent as you don’t have much energy to spare. All you know is you want to feel better as soon as possible.
There is always the fear that this may be your best and things can always get worse. Especially when you know this is a condition you’ve had for over three years. Especially when you know if not for your medications you would never get out of bed. That even with your medications it’s still a chore. I guess it’s always hard to swallow having a “chronic” illness when you’ve spent most of your life extremely healthy. The cycles in your mind always bring you back to the basics of the faith. Those basics always start with “Let Us Pray.”
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)