Too Much To Handle Alone

Well, I didn’t get to sleep until after 3am this morning. So, when I got up to take my morning medications my body was definitely struggling. I was still looking forward to getting my spinal cord stimulator adjusted at noon today. Unfortunately, the adjuster reached out to inform me that appointment couldn’t happen. I’m fact, they can’t adjust my stimulator in person until this Friday.

While I was definitely happy about getting extra rest. I wasn’t sure what the day would bring my way. I pretty much slept until around 2pm. When I went to take my shower I felt things were improving concerning my overall pain. Then, like lightening in a bottle my body felt on fire head to toe. When that happens I can’t process anything well. All I know is it feels like flames inside my body.

This experience definitely brought me to my lowest point. I just couldn’t believe that things were only getting worst. However, the more I processed things I knew this was 100 percent nerve pain. So, I called and spoke to my stimulator adjuster.

Around 5pm she told me to turn off my stimulator for at least 3-4 hours. Then, if I felt okay after that turn it back on at just half the strength I normally have running within me. It appears this is a common thing with many of her stimulator patients. What your nerves could handle a year ago might not be good for them now. These nerve like impulses can overload your system over time.

Based on my past experiences, I definitely felt like my nerves were being over stimulated. So, I turned off my stimulator over 5 hours ago. In less than two hours the insanity of nerve pain drastically decreased. However, quickly you start feeling other pains the stimulator had been covering up.

I’m back in the bath just waiting on God to settle this storm. I feel very optimistic that we’ve found the root of my greatest problem. I will turn my unit back on either late tonight or early morning. I want to make sure that my nerves don’t get overloaded again. My representative said it can take up to 24 hours to get the overload out of my system.

Every time I have an episode like I had today it’s like I’m in a really bad dream. When you have absolutely no control over your body it’s very frightening. However, these same fears are what God continues to use to elevate my faith. All in one day I experienced rest, peace, chaos, heartache, torment, and now lots of hope about my situation.

I know everyone on here has something in your life that has totally overwhelmed you. In fact, sometimes you feel like it has ruined your life. Trust me, I can relate to all your human thoughts and emotions. I’ve been doing a lot of deep thinking lying flat on back.

However, let’s admit it that this is where God becomes real for us. You know, when we can’t fix or change a thing. When all we we can do is look up and shoot prayers up. That’s where God becomes real in the midst of our brokenness. It’s there if we let Him God picks us up and holds us together. God assures us that we won’t fight any battle alone. He will always be there for us and with us. He will always give us peace and help us overcome our greatest fears. I’m going to bed tonight knowing I am an overcomer. Knowing that in Christ I can always find peace and victory.

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 NLT

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