I Hate The Pain But

Laying on my heated mattress top trying to stay still as possible. The heating pad covering my back is on high. The pain has made me so nauseous. I would give anything for an IV drip of morphine. I’ve been so blessed to go days without this rotten feeling. All I can say is I hate pain.

But, I can’t deny it reveals where my real strength comes from. It exposes my great weakness and my total lack of control. Funny how you think you’ve got life by the horns. Then, you find yourself in a puddle of grief, pain, and total God dependance.

This pain humbles me every time. It instantly elevates my prayer life. It reminds me there is no such thing as a pain free life this side of heaven. It makes me wholeheartedly depend on the one who breathes life into my soul.

While I hate the pain. I can’t argue that in God hands the pain gets me right back where I should always be living. That is drawing close to God. I need keep my little hand in His big hand.

“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 1Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:7-10

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