You would think I should be used to it by now. But, you never get used to rain falling down on your parade. I had gotten my shower, got dressed and was waiting on my wife to pick me up for supper at Cracker Barrel. By the time she arrived I was already melting due to nerve pain. The nausea was rising and every piece of my skin was crawling.
Fortunately, I didn’t try to force things. After all, I’ve seen this movie over a thousand times before. So, I told her I knew deep down it was best she and my youngest son go on without me. After all, I’ve ruined many an evening trying to ignore this pain. She could see my disappointment, but she too knew it was best I just walked back inside.
Here I go again sitting alone in a hot tub waiting on my nerves to settle. I quickly took medication that I’m certain will help me feel relieved soon. I hate it, she hates it and even my 9 year old hates his daddy can’t join them. I’m still not liking my reality, but I’m much quicker to embrace it. Just takes several years to swallow this much truth into your heart.
I’m still extremely grateful for my daily progress. I know how much worse I could be. I know what it’s like to feel completely hopeless. I feel really bad right now, but I’m still very hopeful about the future. However, I will spend another long, lonely evening asking to renew my body, mind, and spirit. This also means Sunday morning is going to be an incredible time of worship. God always follows these kind of storms with bright rainbows of promise.
“I have placed my rainbow in the clouds. It is the sign of my covenant with you and with all the earth. When I send clouds over the earth, the rainbow will appear in the clouds, and I will remember my covenant with you and with all living creatures.” Genesis 9:13-15